Just one more thing.

So I was suddenly struck by a little muse at like, 1am. I decided to take it anyways, I rarely get those nowadays.

I feel like this is kinda the epitome of my life right now. I need to say goodbye to some people of various scenarios and this unexpectedly ties them all in together.
Who knows? Maybe there is indeed something to learn here.

I'm pretty happy though. With this piece, I have 99% moved out of my angst phase (for now). Haha. I think anything written on the back of some monstrous wave of confusion and frustration turns out petty and painful to read (at least in my own experience), so I'm happy I could squeak out something without feeling overwhelmed :D

Anyhoo, enough rambling, I'll let you see that jank.

A Challenge to The Mistress of Our Reality

Why do you know

what you may have lost,

what you have lost,

when you lose it?

Will we ever decide the fates

with which our Lady Destiny so carelessly plays?

We are pawns,

it is remarkable to think it,

but our successes and choices

never were ours to begin with.

Looking back on the times,

sunny, delicious days

when our hair was down and

we ran

through fields of daisies

and marigolds,

it is known she sat back for a while.

Oh, how those days are missed,

we were so carefree, most importantly.

You trusted me.

I lived to care and

often

mighty rocks stood strong

waiting for

the collapse of angels.

And elbows linked,

conversation flowed

(our words created the sweetest streams),

and we gazed upon

curled intricacies.

It was a time of innocence,

and weakness.

But there too was growth. Our souls

grew

like vines entwined,

together.

What sees in us the dark Lady now?

Lie silent.

That answer belongs to you.

But know this:

no matter how we grow,

what we choose,

who we become,

always hold near the being

that remained true from the beginning,

for no one will ever forget you.

Let me know what you think (even if I am saying that to an empty audience). A real crowd or no, I do enjoy addressing someone out in the world, it makes things lively on my end :D haha, but yes.

A poem. Woohoo! 

Have a lovely night :) 

Mid-summer Haze.

Wow, it certainly has been a while, hasn't it?
So much has changed, like, everywhere. I hardly know how to use blogger anymore, new format and such.
So much has changed in my life too, that's for sure.

In a nutshell:
I have improved drastically in my job. I have a drop of hope now.
I graduated from high school.
I lost some of my roots here.
I gained other wonderful people.
I redefined who I am and will be and how others will perceive me from now on.
I almost got the Fab 4 back together in one piece, but someone decided to be busy >:(
I've nearly shaken off leftover emotions and will soon be free.
My music career has taken a startling and unexpected turn, whether for the worse or better, I do not know.
I got a 1 on an AP exam and am remaining unexpectedly calm about it.
I have gotten all my college things nearly settled.
I am ready for the future.

Yeah, it's been so surreal, but I'm definitely a fan of this new life. I realized I surely do miss writing. Did you know I actually haven't written any actual poems or anything since nearly May? It's bad. I need to keep myself in shape.

Which brings me to. I found this, the last thing I wrote, in my bookbag the other day when I was cleaning out. I'm not entirely a fan of the structure and style, but I do believe there is a grain or two of truth in there. Sometimes I just enjoy getting lost in those rabbit holes and thinking about these things. Ha. With that being said, here it is.


Everybody Has A Niche

When we come down to earth

as memories

fresh in our parent's eyes,

already we are placed at a disadvantage.

Only infants,

we have been forced to join the world's eternal

struggle: an everlasting search for joy.

It is a blessing,

yes, to live and to experience

and it is a joy to the hardworking fathers

and mothers to look upon their smiling cherubim;

but, is it not also hard, the uncertainty

of the future bearing down, to fight

past and live, simply

live?

That's essentially what it boils

down to,

living.

Has there even been a higher purpose, truly,

for our lives on this planet? Even for

the scientists, doctors,

human rights activists, they live and work

so that others might live and work someday.

Someday. In the future. And

the cycle continues. We have been gifted,

and cursed, with a chance to live on this

Earth and experience as much of it as we can.

And with that comes the

responsibility to find happiness

at all costs. Which leads me

to wonder, how? Therefore,

everybody has a niche.

Joy, true joy, I believe, takes

over like the pilot of your plane. The

thing happens in its own special way, but

once you're in, you're glued to

the moment, which, by the way, will

never let you go. Done,

you've tasted it and you'll come back for more.

The tricky thing to realize is that,

although helpful to some degree, working

for and wanting will only get you

so far; the rest

comes on its own time. 

Well, I do believe that is it for me today. I'm definitely going to do better about updating this thing, even if no one reads it, because it gives me something to do and I enjoy marking my life a bit like this :) 

So.

Peace out, home dawg bean ball burgers.