I enjoy showers. They're awful nice. And they don't talk back to you. But I like. They make one clean and comfortable. They're great for relaxation. And singing. Especially singing. One could be a rising opera star from the time spent practicing in the shower. Showers are very liberal, it seems. They don't judge you if you want to sing. Very welcoming. Like an old friend. Or a grandma. I like them too, grandmas I mean. Smell a little bit...old, but definitely worth it. Just bubbling with kindness and perhaps, curiosity. Curiosity. We don't need anymore dead cats around here. Keep them in their bags and the mortality rate is fairly consistent. What do you think of when someone mentions 'curiosity' to you? Is there a chance that anyone else immediately pictures small children picking their heads around a corner to investigate a strange noise? Scooby Doo?
Have you ever started talking about a random topic and then gone off on a tangent because it actually has relevance, although completely off? Welcome to my world =]
Saturday, July 30, 2011
I had a dream.
I had a dream last night, Thursday night, I suppose. I don't know why, but it still kinda lingers in my mind. Nothing particularly fancy, there was even a bit of mirroring real life events involved. Most is not really clear, but two parts stood out. The first half of the dream, I got drunk? And we were one of those old English taverns. That's all. Wasn't even a bad, destructive drunk. Just...drunk. I'm very glad I have never been drunk before because, if it's anything like my dream, it doesn't seem like the most pleasant experience in the world.
The second bit was for my friend. I think. So I have this friend. With boy troubles, what else is new? But the world is against her, so it seems. Much confusion and guilt and regret brews on either side of this silly little love story. Many want to help, whether on the guy side or the girl side, but it seems none more than I. Isn't that a curse though? I have such desperation to do something positive for her that it gets the best of me and leaves me appearing as the all-too-eager child in a game. Quite frustrating. So anyways, the dream. In it, she confesses everything I believe to be true applicable to her and, I bet, is reflective of the way I want things to end. Or at least the way I want things to begin to end. Several times she confesses her regret of the situation and collapses on my shoulder in tears. I woke up the final time this happens and felt startled not to see someone in close proximity, like it had all been a sick joke of nature. Which it was, I just wasn't ready to admit that yet. Easily bruised pride ;)
But anyways, the dream was most striking because of how vulnerable she became, for someone who bravely puts on a mask of strength to most of the public eye. Who knows what it could mean? Could be merely my goals played back to me, could very well be a message or smoke signal for action? I will most likely sit, inactive, to play it safe and see what happens next. Don't need to work too hard because look where that got me. Eh, the need to restrain one's self is not such a happy thing. But anyways. Dream interpretation? Cause I honestly don't know :D
The second bit was for my friend. I think. So I have this friend. With boy troubles, what else is new? But the world is against her, so it seems. Much confusion and guilt and regret brews on either side of this silly little love story. Many want to help, whether on the guy side or the girl side, but it seems none more than I. Isn't that a curse though? I have such desperation to do something positive for her that it gets the best of me and leaves me appearing as the all-too-eager child in a game. Quite frustrating. So anyways, the dream. In it, she confesses everything I believe to be true applicable to her and, I bet, is reflective of the way I want things to end. Or at least the way I want things to begin to end. Several times she confesses her regret of the situation and collapses on my shoulder in tears. I woke up the final time this happens and felt startled not to see someone in close proximity, like it had all been a sick joke of nature. Which it was, I just wasn't ready to admit that yet. Easily bruised pride ;)
But anyways, the dream was most striking because of how vulnerable she became, for someone who bravely puts on a mask of strength to most of the public eye. Who knows what it could mean? Could be merely my goals played back to me, could very well be a message or smoke signal for action? I will most likely sit, inactive, to play it safe and see what happens next. Don't need to work too hard because look where that got me. Eh, the need to restrain one's self is not such a happy thing. But anyways. Dream interpretation? Cause I honestly don't know :D
Friday, July 29, 2011
I'm an addict.
So I have been thinking about blogging, my blog, and anything I could possibly disclose in my next post ever since I woke up this morning. It's ridiculous. There is such a need to write and express in me at present that it makes me explode with ideas that are horrible and simple and detailed and interesting and unorthodox and just leave with staring open mouthed at a cloud of dust already five miles down the road. No really, feels something like that. Anyways.
Should my posts be short? Do bloggers even ask editing questions to the people who may read them? Are there even any people who make "self conscious" blogs because that definitely feels like something I'm doing. But it's okay. Life is good, for now.
I really like mangoes. Like a lot. Like a whole, whole lot. Something about them is very appealing, what with the red, green, and sometimes yellow, outer covering and super 'licious, orange fruit waiting inside. Come on, they have sass, for fruit. I think they're like the cool cats of the fruit world...Is it weird to have admiration for inanimate objects? Because I do. Thought people should know.
Oh, so. Funny story. I actually have one. This morning, I tried to brush my hair with a toothbrush. Really. I have absolutely no idea what came over me. And it wasn't even like an insane thing. I just reached down and picked up the toothbrush. But the thing is...I don't even brush my hair with a brush. Of any kind...My hair is so thick that I have to run my fingers through it with water and kinda work with it a second. And although that sounds barbaric or what have you, if a brush touched my hair, goodbye normalcy, hello Jew fro. I prefer an anti-Einstein look personally. So yeah. The toothbrush didn't make sense on like...five different levels. What is happening to me? O.o
Oh look. Another funny story. Actually, more just plain old, terrible misfortune. That happens a lot for me. I literally attract trouble and pain and damage and other negative words wherever I go and it's guaranteed that something, whether physical pain or just bad luck, will happen to me nearly every day. I haven't hurt myself...yet...today, so this is good. The story:
Today, I began cleaning my dad's office to earn money for the London marching band trip in December. Not too bad of a job, only takes about an hour and a half and hey, tax free monies! So when I got there, a strange car was blocking the entrance to the parking lot and a strange man was filling in the cracks in the pavement. I was forced to park elsewhere, in an inconvenient location. Things were quickly sorted out and I got into the parking lot, the man got his obtrusive parking spot back, and I was able to clean my office and earn my daily bread. Kidding. But you know. I quickly found out that it was a lot easier to get in than to get out. I walk outside, loaded with cleaning supplies...sorta, and what do I see? A car at the entrance of the parking lot and no man, that's what. I actually had gotten myself TRAPPED...in a parking lot. I'm really just that cool...or unfortunate. I walk around the back of the building; no guy. I look to see if he's eating lunch nearby; no guy. I even knock on the office beside us to see if he's in there; no guy. Finally, I had to call Mom to come rescue me and left my poor car sitting all alone by a few mailboxes. That was at 12 or so. It is now 3:12pm and I have just come home from picking my car up. What an experience.
That's all I have at present, I feel quite tempted to write something later, but all my stories are worn out thus far. Stay cooooool in this scorching weather because it is 98 degrees here and feels like 1000. We could roast eggs on the sidewalk. So yes, eat some ice cubes!
Should my posts be short? Do bloggers even ask editing questions to the people who may read them? Are there even any people who make "self conscious" blogs because that definitely feels like something I'm doing. But it's okay. Life is good, for now.
I really like mangoes. Like a lot. Like a whole, whole lot. Something about them is very appealing, what with the red, green, and sometimes yellow, outer covering and super 'licious, orange fruit waiting inside. Come on, they have sass, for fruit. I think they're like the cool cats of the fruit world...Is it weird to have admiration for inanimate objects? Because I do. Thought people should know.
Oh, so. Funny story. I actually have one. This morning, I tried to brush my hair with a toothbrush. Really. I have absolutely no idea what came over me. And it wasn't even like an insane thing. I just reached down and picked up the toothbrush. But the thing is...I don't even brush my hair with a brush. Of any kind...My hair is so thick that I have to run my fingers through it with water and kinda work with it a second. And although that sounds barbaric or what have you, if a brush touched my hair, goodbye normalcy, hello Jew fro. I prefer an anti-Einstein look personally. So yeah. The toothbrush didn't make sense on like...five different levels. What is happening to me? O.o
Oh look. Another funny story. Actually, more just plain old, terrible misfortune. That happens a lot for me. I literally attract trouble and pain and damage and other negative words wherever I go and it's guaranteed that something, whether physical pain or just bad luck, will happen to me nearly every day. I haven't hurt myself...yet...today, so this is good. The story:
Today, I began cleaning my dad's office to earn money for the London marching band trip in December. Not too bad of a job, only takes about an hour and a half and hey, tax free monies! So when I got there, a strange car was blocking the entrance to the parking lot and a strange man was filling in the cracks in the pavement. I was forced to park elsewhere, in an inconvenient location. Things were quickly sorted out and I got into the parking lot, the man got his obtrusive parking spot back, and I was able to clean my office and earn my daily bread. Kidding. But you know. I quickly found out that it was a lot easier to get in than to get out. I walk outside, loaded with cleaning supplies...sorta, and what do I see? A car at the entrance of the parking lot and no man, that's what. I actually had gotten myself TRAPPED...in a parking lot. I'm really just that cool...or unfortunate. I walk around the back of the building; no guy. I look to see if he's eating lunch nearby; no guy. I even knock on the office beside us to see if he's in there; no guy. Finally, I had to call Mom to come rescue me and left my poor car sitting all alone by a few mailboxes. That was at 12 or so. It is now 3:12pm and I have just come home from picking my car up. What an experience.
That's all I have at present, I feel quite tempted to write something later, but all my stories are worn out thus far. Stay cooooool in this scorching weather because it is 98 degrees here and feels like 1000. We could roast eggs on the sidewalk. So yes, eat some ice cubes!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
The beginning of the rest of my life. Cliche but true.
Here I am. Day 1 to the rest of my life. This scene is nearly familiar, the blog that is. Only this time it is without the rules and regulations of the 2011 Japanese Governor's Academy blog, for which I was the main writer. Eh, not that that is important, but it is important to note that I no longer have the pleasure of writing for it, for the Academy is quite over. Which brings me here.
A week and a half later and I am as miserable as can be. Sooner or later, my thoughts will wander to more important matters, such as my impending doom with marching band, my senior year, and, of course, the college application process. Oh joy. For now, however, I may drone on about my state of martyrdom, separated from 37 lovely colleagues in crime. Oh man, such great times, learning Japanese together, eating together, sleeping practically together, living together. People in the world should do things together, in small, bite-sized herds of people they could live the rest of their days with. It wouldn't be so bad. Why can't one person such as myself make such a huge change? To change the concept of community living entirely, that is. That would be fun. Good goal, I think.
I'm too tired to write about JLA. Seems awful selfish too, if you ask me. If you did, that is. But anyways. May I offer another explanation?
Well, despite possessing no special gift and control of the English language, I signed up to take AP Lit as the cherry on my high school career. Part of the summer assignment was to start a blog and get comments on it, so I'm starting a blog and hoping for comments. How utterly generic. That's not the sole reason I speak or type or write now, to save a few shreds of dignity. A third is out of respect for the classroom, a third out of necessity, and a third for the principle of the thing. So there you are.
I'm just going to pretend that readers will hang on to my every word, although a highly unrealistic expectation, just so this is more interesting for me. Why am I blogging? What's the point? I find that question running through my head a lot. But why? I find it rather extraordinarily ordinary that words, very simple words, have powers that are too large to fully grasp. That's what makes it interesting. It's like a Japanese garden I guess, to pull in a dorky metaphor. Any way you look, something goes unseen and one must keep exploring to see everything. Do you think words, communication, literature, whatever, planned that out on purpose? Or is this all just a happy coincidence? Anyways, I will try not to run myself down a rabbit hole thinking too hard about these things.
I enjoy the "power" that one has when creating something with words, a sort of infinite canvas to be affixed with mystical symbols. I mean, hieroglyphics, for one, and don't forget to take a gander at calligraphy. Even the Roman letter system may look just as strange to a foreigner and has the same power as the next great, extinct language. Not that it is or anything. Oh gosh. What am I doing here? xD Not my intention to entirely ramble...
You know, I totally wanted a "normal" blog, with a funny story about my day that seriously threatens to make one pee or something like that. I read a GREAT story on my friend's blog once that was something along those lines and I decided I needed to do that. Alas, I am suck with the plain, "thoughtful" kind, the one where I get run underground by tangents and follow pre-dug wormholes and talk about things that really don't matter on an uncanny level. A curse, I swear. I have just been thinking hard tonight.
Perhaps I need to get sleep and food to my deprived brain and perhaps it will sort out normally so that I am able to return the next day with a lovely or meaningful quip to share. Let's hope for the best. Until next time,
sayoonara!
A week and a half later and I am as miserable as can be. Sooner or later, my thoughts will wander to more important matters, such as my impending doom with marching band, my senior year, and, of course, the college application process. Oh joy. For now, however, I may drone on about my state of martyrdom, separated from 37 lovely colleagues in crime. Oh man, such great times, learning Japanese together, eating together, sleeping practically together, living together. People in the world should do things together, in small, bite-sized herds of people they could live the rest of their days with. It wouldn't be so bad. Why can't one person such as myself make such a huge change? To change the concept of community living entirely, that is. That would be fun. Good goal, I think.
I'm too tired to write about JLA. Seems awful selfish too, if you ask me. If you did, that is. But anyways. May I offer another explanation?
Well, despite possessing no special gift and control of the English language, I signed up to take AP Lit as the cherry on my high school career. Part of the summer assignment was to start a blog and get comments on it, so I'm starting a blog and hoping for comments. How utterly generic. That's not the sole reason I speak or type or write now, to save a few shreds of dignity. A third is out of respect for the classroom, a third out of necessity, and a third for the principle of the thing. So there you are.
I'm just going to pretend that readers will hang on to my every word, although a highly unrealistic expectation, just so this is more interesting for me. Why am I blogging? What's the point? I find that question running through my head a lot. But why? I find it rather extraordinarily ordinary that words, very simple words, have powers that are too large to fully grasp. That's what makes it interesting. It's like a Japanese garden I guess, to pull in a dorky metaphor. Any way you look, something goes unseen and one must keep exploring to see everything. Do you think words, communication, literature, whatever, planned that out on purpose? Or is this all just a happy coincidence? Anyways, I will try not to run myself down a rabbit hole thinking too hard about these things.
I enjoy the "power" that one has when creating something with words, a sort of infinite canvas to be affixed with mystical symbols. I mean, hieroglyphics, for one, and don't forget to take a gander at calligraphy. Even the Roman letter system may look just as strange to a foreigner and has the same power as the next great, extinct language. Not that it is or anything. Oh gosh. What am I doing here? xD Not my intention to entirely ramble...
You know, I totally wanted a "normal" blog, with a funny story about my day that seriously threatens to make one pee or something like that. I read a GREAT story on my friend's blog once that was something along those lines and I decided I needed to do that. Alas, I am suck with the plain, "thoughtful" kind, the one where I get run underground by tangents and follow pre-dug wormholes and talk about things that really don't matter on an uncanny level. A curse, I swear. I have just been thinking hard tonight.
Perhaps I need to get sleep and food to my deprived brain and perhaps it will sort out normally so that I am able to return the next day with a lovely or meaningful quip to share. Let's hope for the best. Until next time,
sayoonara!
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