Resurrection

My life was completely changed this weekend. For absolutely reals.

So I don't know if I mentioned it,
but Indy.
And I went.
This weekend.

Not too many times do you get to be the famous people and just generally catered to. We stayed at the JW Marriot. 5 stars, baby. But you know why?
Because we were actually worth something to have earned a spot there.

We earned our tickets to the Jazz Band of America and Honor Band of America concerts. We earned the fluffy, clean beds and the little complementary 5 star bathrobes. We earned the 16th floor and we earned all the way up to the high rise.

I love it, because we made that happen. I did too.
It didn't entirely hit me while I was there, because it just seemed so natural and so wonderful.
But it was a lot.

And my favorite part?
The reflection of my personal growth through all of this.

Band has made me into the person I am today. I know all musicians can say that. And I have become a stronger, more confident woman because of that english horn and oboe and the band mates who keep changing around me, and most of all, the wonderful director who has never left.

I wish I had not given up that 4th year, that was foolish. But during my three years in the JF Wind Symphony, I have accomplished so much and every year has outdone the great adventure of the previous year. I feel enlightened and this year, I realize I finally see it, I finally get what this has always been about. If only it had come sooner, but I have used the full extent of my knowledge and understanding this year regardless.

It's about the color that you make every time you pick up your instrument and it's because you're supposed to float down the invisible swirls that jump from the music. It's about expression and how that ultimately is the most important thing. When I play, I'm actually free and I'm actually floating and when I play, I can close my eyes and feel an extension of my body reach out and touch the world. I become the person of my dreams and I am so powerful because nobody can touch what I'm doing as I push the buttons.

It's cheesy to say, but you can't believe me until you know. And you should know that it's true.

And the most important thing, the most important thing is the family we create every year. Peter Boonshaft, our post performance clinician, talked about this to us and man, was he right. We give so much of ourselves without even knowing it and we all support each other. We may have endless streams of differences, but for those 58 minutes, or during performances, we have to put those aside and become the team we are. Like super heroes. Only much more musical and there are 93 of us.
I don't know. Except, I know I will miss this year's family more than I can say. Definitely those oboes. Man, this year has felt more like a sisterhood than ever before and we really were there for each other. It's what you do, because you are kindhearted to fellow bandies. I think our ties are so strong because we're all present for each other's deepest vulnerability. You're a different person when you play, you change.

But I'll stop, because all these things are running together in my head and I lost my touch with the last bit...ha.

Anyways, the trip was extraordinary and I feel so blessed to have gone on it.
Also shout out to the awesome people I met, Josh and Blake. Cool individuals, yessirybob.

It's thundering. And lightening right now. I love the rain.

Peace and happiness on earth :)